How to Revise a Draft

Revising a draft should be done in an organized manner. The first thing I will do to revise my draft is read over all the suggestions and corrections that were made on my essay by the professor and classmate. This will give me an idea of how much revising needs to be done. I then will go through my essay and fix any grammatical errors such as, any missed spelled words or fragment sentences. After this I will take out any unnecessary information to make sure that I am focusing on a particular scene. This includes summary information that does not belong in the essay. I will then move around information in the essay to make sure the sequence is in the right order. This will help make the essay understandable and less confusing.  After that I will continue to watch the scene in the film and see what I can add to the essay. I will further my understanding of the scene and develop well thought ideas of what the filmmaker is trying to get across. Once I have a clear idea of what the essay’s main focus is, then I will revise my thesis. Once my thesis is written and revised I will then write my introduction. Now that I have a good understanding of the entire scene I will be able to write a well developed introduction. The final step will be to revise the conclusion and take into consideration the revisions that were made on it.  

Here are some additional strategies that may be useful: 

http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/revision.html

Reflection on "The First Book"

This poem was very short and took less than a minute to read. However, it was very interesting and made me think about the true meaning the poet is trying to get across to her reader. It is often hard for a person who doesn’t normally read to start reading chapter book for the first time. The point the poet is trying to make is that a person will never know if they like the book they are reading if they stop after the first couple of pages. The person needs to jump into the reading and get lost in the words. A good book has the power to allow an individual to forget about their own life temporarily and lose their self in the world inside the book. This can be a way to relieve some stress in an individual’s life and be a type of therapy for some. The poet makes a point that it takes time to like reading, but the only way to do so is to start and she expresses this when she says, “Sure, it’s hard to get started; remember learning to use a knife and fork? Dig in; You’ll never reach the bottom” (Rita Dove). She is also making the point that once you are lost in a good book it will make you want to continue reading others and you will never run out of books to read, there is no bottom. I liked this poem because it goes to show that a short poem such as this one can have so much meaning.


Here is a website where you can view the poem:
The First Book by Rita Book 
http://thechocolatechipwaffle.blogspot.com/2009/02/poem-first-book-by-rita-dove.html

Questions for an Essay Conference

I have several questions for my professor regarding the film analysis essay. The first question I am going to ask is, “How do I cite my quotes in my essay?” This was confusing to me because I have never cited quotes from a film before. The next question I am going to ask is, “Does my thesis need to be clearer?” The thesis is a key part of the essay and I need to know if it should be changed to make the essay easier to understand. Another question I will ask is, “Is the essay easy to understand?” Sometimes an essay will make sense to the author, but be confusing to its audience. Another important questions to ask is, “Did I summarize the essay rather than analyze it?” I remember my professor saying that it’s important to not summarize the scene and to mostly analyze in the essay. If I over summarized then I will remove unnecessary explanations and replace it with analyzing the scene. The last questions I will ask my professor is, “What did I do well in my essay and what do I need to work on?” This will let me know what I need to focus on to improve my essay. All of these questions will be useful when I begin revising my essay. 

Reflection on "Just Be Nice"

I agree with the argument Stephen L. Carter is making in this essay. I agree that children are not taught manners like they used to. I’m not sure what the true reason is for that. It could be that parents are not teaching their children manners or not enforcing them like they should be. Also, it could be that schools are not teaching manners like they used to back in the 1960’s because they don’t want to handle the complaints that may arise from the parents. Now a day’s parents think their children can do no wrong and they think the school system is wrong rather than their child. Manners are important to learn at a young age because it will be helpful as an adult. Having manners makes an individual professional and put together. Without manners a child may turn towards inappropriate language because they were never taught what is appropriate and what is not. I thought it was interesting when that the author wrote, “My point is not to tell us how to speak. My point is to argue that how we speak is simply one point on a continuum of right and wrong ways to treat one another. And how we treat one another is what civility is about” (Carter). These final sentences made me think about the argument he was trying to make. I understand now that he is saying that without some type of civil communication are world could eventually come to an end.   

Here is the website for the essay:

Stephen L. Carter: Just Be Nice

http://www.yalealumnimagazine.com/issues/98_05/Stephen_Carter.html 

Reflection on "Anti-Intellectualism"

I agree with the argument Grant Penrod is making in his essay, Anti-Intellectualism: Why We Hate the Smart Kids. In my opinion I think children in schools are not always acknowledged for their academic achievements the way athletes are. This is very unfortunate because these students put in hard work and they are not getting the acknowledgement they should be given, which can be very discouraging. I think it’s true that children are afraid to be labeled as the “geek” or the “nerd” because of the bad rap they get in popular movies. Children often place these people in stereotypes and they are not treated like they should be. They are afraid of being ostracized by their peers. I thought Grant Penrod made a valid point when he mentioned that several famous celebrities have not graduated high school, but ironically these celebrities are role models for children. This sends the wrong message to children because they may think education is not as important as becoming a famous movie star or an athlete due to the acknowledgement they receive.  This is very unfortunate because I believe education is extremely important and often time children are given the wrong message that education is not a necessity. All in all, I enjoyed this essay and it made me interested on the topic.

Here is the website for the article:

Grant Penrod: Anti-Intellectualism: Why We Hate the Smart Kids

http://docs.google.com/viewer?

Questions for a Reviewer

There are several questions that I have for the reviewer of my film analysis draft. The questions developed while I was writing my essay and to help remember them I wrote them down on a piece of paper. This makes sure I won’t forget or miss any questions I have. It will be helpful when I revise my essay. The first question I have for me reviewer is, “Is the essay easy to follow and understand?” This is a good question to ask because sometimes an essay can be hard to understand to others who read it. Another question I have is, “Did my essay stay on topic and is it focused?” If the essay is not focused then I would ask, “What suggestions do you have to make it focused?” I would take note of these suggestions and refer to them when I begin to revise my essay. I would also ask, “Is there enough information in my essay or should I go more in depth?” The last question I would ask is, “What did you like about the essay?” Knowing what my reviewer liked about my essay will tell me what I need to continue doing. All of these questions will be helpful because it’s good to get another person’s perspective on the essay.

Film Analysis Prewriting

Organizer for Film Proposal: Listing

v  Film: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

v  Approach: Shame theory

v  Scene: When the Grinch is a child in school

v  Impact of shame when a child becomes and adolescent: The Grinch has a shameful experiences when he is growing up, which has a big impact on him when he is an adult.

v  A major shame event involves exposure: The Grinch’s shameful experience was in front of his entire class.

v  Shame is a survival trait: The Grinch has the shameful experience when he tries to conform to society.

v  Shame is the head of family emotions: The Grinch feels guilt, humiliation, embarrassment, mortification

v  The Grinch used the script attack other when he takes his anger out on his classmates when he is made fun of.

v  The Grinch also used the withdrawal script because he isolates himself from the rest of his town because he was embarrassed as a child.

Items in order:

 Approach: Shame theory

ü  Film: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

ü  Scene: When the Grinch is a child in school

ü  A major shame event involves exposure: The Grinch’s shameful experience was in front of his entire class.

ü  Shame is a survival trait: The Grinch has the shameful experience when he tries to conform to society.

ü  Shame is the head of family emotions: The Grinch feels guilt, humiliation, embarrassment, mortification

ü  Impact of shame when a child becomes and adolescent: The Grinch has a shameful experiences when he is growing up, which has a big impact on him when he is an adult.

ü  The Grinch used the script attack other when he takes his anger out on his classmates when he is made fun of.

ü  The Grinch also used the withdrawal script because he isolates himself from the rest of his town because he was embarrassed as a child.